Everyone experiences not being supported in different ways, which often feels like rejection.
Some bounce back quickly while others feel the sting and never try again.
J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, was rejected by 12 publishers and told “not to quit her day job” before publishing her first book.
Sara Blakely, creator of Spanx, sold fax machines for seven years and was turned down daily. During that same time, she kept her day job as she worked on her business evenings and weekends.
She self-funded Spanx and is now a self-made billionaire.
Despite these hard-knocks turned success stories, it doesn’t make it any easier when you’re going through it.
What To Do When You’re Not Being Supported
Whether it’s a publisher, a client, a spouse, family, or friends, what do you do when you’re not being supported?
When going through a new (sometimes life altering) transition like starting a new business, changing careers, or even closing your business, it’s normal to experience changes with the people that surround you.
It’s important to remember that most people come from a place of care and concern, and even though it may feel like they’re not being supportive, it’s often how you position the issue that can make or break it.
When you’re pursuing your dream, you want (and often need) the people around you to support you and it is frustrating when that doesn’t happen.
This doesn’t mean there’s a problem with your relationship, but what do you do to get the support you need?
3 Steps to Get The Support You Want
- Lead by example. It’s easy to get judgemental or defensive but being the victim isn’t helping your situation. Instead, try talking only about the successes you’re experiencing, no matter how small they seem, so the people around you can see what’s possible for you.
- Tell the truth about your aspirations. This isn’t an ultimatum, but a way of expressing your goals so he or she understands what’s important to you and why. Maybe they don’t see how they’re involved in your choices so showing them you care about their concerns can help you pursue your ambitions and get the support you want.
- Hear their fears. More-than-not, you’re not being supported because the other person is expressing their own fears and hearing what they have to say can help turn the situation around.
It’s your job to continue on the path that’s right for you. The one you choose. Whether you’re being supported or not.
Your dreams matter and it’s important to be confident in them.
Your Focus Predicts Your Success
Not everyone will support you along the way, and you may not support a dream of theirs or understand why it’s important to them, but it’s not your job to convince people to support you.
It’s your job to actualize your dream. To make it happen by taking actionable steps.
Focusing on the results not the reasons like: “I’m not being supported” or “it’s too expensive” or “I don’t have the right skills” or “it’s a bad idea because of A B or C…” will only leave you stuck and unhappy.
Having support doesn’t mean people will hang off your every word and it doesn’t mean you’ll always get what you think you deserve, so it’s important to voice your concerns and share why your choices are important to you.
After all, we all need encouragement and support and it feels especially important from our loved ones.
Now I’d love to hear from you.
What an example from your life where you weren’t feeling supported and you able to turn the scenario around?
Let us know in the comments below.
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Thanks so much for sharing.
Have an eventful day,
